Depression (meditation on Psalm 139)

Clouds Obscure My Vision

All my thoughts are gray.
I am lost in despondency.
I cannot move for the weight of my darkness.
O Lord, You search for me, because You care for me.
I make my bed in Sheol.
Behold, You are here with me.
You stoop down to meet me, because You love me.
You come along side me, because of Your great compassion.
You understand how I feel, because You walked these paths.
You cry with me and do not run out of tears.
This gray day has been known by You since I was first made,
Its purpose is not lost, because You are with me.
Your compassion for me will never end; it will never grow old.
You surround me and have laid Your hand upon me.
I scarcely understand.
Though I forsake myself, You will not.
And someday, I will enter Your rest,
Because Your grip is sure and You know the way.

Beyond My Wildest Dreams

Forest Light

Dreaming in the forest

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him”   1 Corinthians 2:9

The question is how do I love God? I know from Deuteronomy 6:5 that I am told to love God with everything in me. But how do I do that?

To understand how, keep reading in 1 Corinthians 2.

“But God has revealed it to us by His Spirit.”  1 Corinthians 2:10

I can’t of myself truly love GodI need the help of the Holy Spirit. To receive that help all I need to do is ask and receive as His child. And what I receive is beyond my wildest dreams. To be loved by God and walk with my Lord.

Beautiful Iceberg Lake Trail

One of my favorite hikes is Iceberg Lake Trail in Glacier National Park. I would like to use the pictures from this trail as a metaphor for an even better hike through Psalm 103. Hopefully both hikes will lift your spirit as much as they lift mine.

The trail starts in a beautiful aspen grove with the early morning light just touching the tree tops like a crown.

Iceberg Lake-1

Aspen along the trail

Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. Psalm 103:1-4

As I gaze at this grove of aspen the more I remember of the crisp cool morning, the birds singing in the trees, the fragrant scent of the forest. In the same manner, the more I dwell on all God has done for me the greater my praise for Him.

Saying Grace

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The beginning of another day at Icicle Gorge

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:19

Before each meal I say grace, following the example of Jesus. The purpose is to give thanks for what God has provided, and ask the Lord’s blessing upon the food.

This morning as I lay in bed thinking of the coming day it struck me I could say grace over this day, following the same pattern of giving thanks and asking for God’s blessing. Saying grace over the day reminds me that God wants to bless it, to transform it into the fullness of why He has given it to me. Maybe the greatest transformation is in my perspective of the meaning and purpose of this day. After saying grace, it is no longer “just another day,” but one filled with God’s presence at every turn. The same possibility of blessing applies to the people we pray for: family, friends, and even person who cut us off in traffic.  What an awesome gift is grace, for we get to lavish it around on everything and everyone that God brings into our lives. This day will be forever changed simply by praying for God’s grace upon it, and with this simple prayer this day is elevated to eternal purpose.

Morning Feast

morning lupine

Morning taste of glory

Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love  Psalm 143:8

As I begin this day my thoughts gravitate to my failures, lack of discipline, lack of prayer, too much TV, wrong thoughts, and I feel pulled down unable to enjoy the day due to my shame. But then a voice says it is by grace you have been saved (Eph. 2:8-9). Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Heb. 4:16). I grab hold of these words, laying aside my self-doubt and shame, to begin this day again in Christ. Renewed to pray for my family, trusting that my failures will not foil God’s love and provision for them. That His love has not diminished and remains as wide and long and high and deep for me as it is for the greatest saint (Eph. 3:18). By faith the day changes from one of struggle with sadness and shame to one of victory and thanksgiving unto the LORD. Knowing He is good, His love endures forever (Psalm 136). This is my morning feast, my wake up coffee.

O taste and see that the LORD is good! Happy is the man who takes refuge in Him!  Psalm 34:8

Let Goodness Flow

Along the trail to Colchuck

Water flows from on high

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

Medical genetics has discovered epigenomes that turn on/off the expression of genes. Thus in identical twins one may get cancer where the other is spared.  When the genes of identical twins are tagged for activity they show nearly identical activity as babies, but later in life they show marked divergence in activity. This change is from epigenes, but what cause epigenes to do this? There are environmental factors that have an effect, but what is surprising is that emotions also produce changes in epigenes. This explains why when a person loses their spouse there is a higher than expected incidence of cancer in the following year. I wonder if this helps explain the placebo effect, associated with any treatment, if one expects a positive out come our emotions cause the production of epigenes that produce the change. Thus the proverb about a cheerful heart is more than a nice statement, it speaks to an underlying biologic mechanism. The opposite emotions also take on new significance in that anger, stress, spite, and hate become avenues for destructive change in our genetics.

All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.        Proverbs 15:15

So let your mind dwell upon the good things God has given and give thanks.

When Lupine Call

Lupine

Come and enjoy

The lupine are so inviting, but many people just drive by not realizing what they have missed.

But I tell you it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgement than for you. Matthew 11: 24

Does this verse mean judgement will be metered out based on some sort of reverse merit system? Scripture also states that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6: 23), how are some more dead than others? I think this instead refers to knowing you had great gift before you and instead of receiving it with joy, you passed it bye. How dreadful to spend eternity with the thought of what might have been. Thinking of the “great wedding feast,” but knowing you chose to do something else. It is easier to bear the loss when you chose hell over heaven than to know you just ignored the invitation.

Rejoice

Rejoice

Rejoicing in new life

Rejoice, He has risen.
It is the death of Death,
New life in His life,
And the hope of glory.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said.  Matthew 28:5-6

Beautiful Light

Light in the woods

Light In the Woods

Oh, how beautiful…
There is something about real beauty that touches our soul.
Beauty is far more than shape or form, it is the fragrance of heaven.
Beauty inspires us to reflect the loveliness we encounter.
Seeing a baby smile brings beauty to the beholder, and inspires a smile in return.
Beauty is a signpost pointing to how life should be.
Beauty is never conscious of self, instead it always desires to see beauty in others.
Beauty colors our past with innocence, our present with joy, and our future with hope.
Seeing what is beautiful stirs the desire to draw closer to the source of beauty,
And seeing the source changes you forever.

One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4

So this prayer is far more than asking for a room with a view, it is about asking to draw close to the source of beauty, and be transformed.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

Light in the Background

Early morning light

Early morning sunshine through the woods

This scene attracted my attention because of the light behind the trees. The foreground is cold with snow covering the tree limbs, but in the background the sun light holds the promise of a beautiful day. The sunlight truly makes all the difference in this picture.

Recently I had been praying for a dear Aunt in hospice going through the last stages of life. On the day before she died I used the 23 Psalm as a prayer for her and the family. When I came to verse 4 it literally jumped off the page.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Psalm 23:4

God’s presence is what makes all the difference in life. There is no circumstance, no illness, no terror that will overwhelm having Jesus with us. On the flip side, there is nothing (fame, wealth, power, or person) that can match having Him in our life.

Jesus is with my aunt, her family and with me. As I allowed this truth to sink in, my heart and mind calmed in His presence. He is the light behind the trees of grief and sorrow. The wonderful knowledge that He is with us will never lose its power to brighten the day of fear, grief, or shame, into a day of hope, comfort, and ultimately joy.